i know i've been absent from the lemonfingers community for some time now.  norfolk is really stifling my creativity.  it's funny that, for the first time in my life, i am in a wonderful healthy relationship and i can't even write about how great it feels.  i have recently applied to a different university for next year (fall 2008) and, if accepted, i think it will really do me a lot of good.

on a completely unrelated note, as i have discussed with some of you, i am completely broke.  i know that many poets and writers plan on teaching. Once upon a time, i did too.  This is how i came to own a good deal of English textbooks.  i no longer need them, and am selling them. The holidays are coming up, and i really want to able to do something nice for my boyfriend and family.  i'm selling them pretty cheaply, and would appreciate it so much.  

here is the link:
[link]

Hope all of you are doing well.  Hopefully i will catch a breeze of inspiration soon, and begin to contribute again.

One of the reasons i haven't been as active on lemonfingers of late, aside from a literary dry spell, is basically just that i'm tired of myself.  I read some of my work, and while, for the most part, i like it, a lot of it feels just monotonous and repetitive to me.  I went through that long phase where i only wrote sex poems, which i'm now trying to stay away from.  Not because i've stopped enjoying sex, but because it nows seems a little pretentious of me.  i'm sure the sex i have is no more extraordinary than the sex everyone else has, and i don't want just be "that girl that writes about sexy stuff".  And even the poems that aren't about sex are about the emotions surrounding sex, and that REALLY isn't what my life is about, nor is it the only thing on my mind.  i just want to explore different styles, and truly find myself as an artist, and stop writing what comes easily.  This summer, besides working my ass off to make money, my goal is to really better myself as a writer.  i'm also working on getting in to photography.  i don't think i'll ever get into it professionally, and i doubt that anyone serious about it will EVER think what i do is technically "good" but i think it's fun and i need a fucking HOBBY.  But, for now, anyone who reads this i have a few things i need help with:

1.) Favorite Poets? famous or not, i really want to intensively study different poets and writers and LEARN from them.
2.) Good ways of making money? i think the real reason my work has suffered this past year is because i spend all of my energy working to pay my rent, and along with going to school i have nothing left in me to CREATE.
3.) Relaxation? I AM SO FUCKING TENSE. but i really am not into meditation (i have bad A.D.D., it doesnt work for me) so please do not suggest that no matter how well it works for you.  ;)
4.) Inspiration? what really enables you to write? what MAKES you want to write? when does it come easily? what kind of atmosphere, and such?



i'm taking the first steps to a new beginning. tomorrow, i'm going out and buying a new notebook.  that really worked for me when i was in high school.  i carried a notebook around just wrote every thought or idea that popped into my head.  Most of it was complete SHIT but everything good that i DID end up writing came from ideas began in there.  


fin.

this is the longest i've ever gone without writing anything.
i'm uninspired, but mostly i think i'm just unmotivated.
i've got a serious case of writer's block.
sure, a few ideas have come and gone, but obviously, none of them actually became anything.
it's so frustrating.
but i'm still here.
i'll be back to myself sooner or later.
hopefully sooner...


pffttt.