Messy Thoughts
by Jess
Copyright © Merlana, 2006
I don’t know how to say this
I can’t figure out what I’m feeling
This is something I can’t explain
The way you bring me tears and smiles in the blink of an eye

I can’t describe the thoughts in my head
They run screaming through my mind
Disappearing in a flash of light
The fading memories of touch and scent
The vision that I had dwindles to nothing
Until I hear your voice again

Then I awake and return to me

Pulling the smile out of my heart again
Setting it on my face with your laugh
And pasting it down with your quiet concern

I feel free when I’m with you
I feel high when you’re around
Boy, you give me the shivers
It’s like a bottled hallelujah chorus,
The feeling I get
Like euphoria on ecstasy,
The illicit touch of this drug

I couldn’t help the attraction,
You drive me to distraction
Yet I believe in everything you do

I admire you
Look up to you in every sense
Because you know who you are
And I want that feeling too

It’s almost desperate the way I feel
But then I think that I’m in too deep
Pulling away from shore
Without the chance to breathe
But not fearing the feeling of drowning
It’s almost like I want to drown in you
To feel you pull me under
And let you take me with you
Let you wash away all the wrong
And fill it up with your right

Let you destroy my walls
Tumble them all down
So you can see everything
And know who is me

I’m so scared that it’s written all over my face
This worry that’s holding me down
I know you don’t mean to hurt me
Know that I don’t want to hurt you

I trust you so far
And I don’t want to lose you
I just want to know where this is going
I want to be able to see

I need you to tell me you need me
I need you to tell me you care

Just let me inside of your heart
‘Cause in mine you’re already there

I’m feeling a little bit lost
Like ship without a home port
Because I don’t know where you stand
Or what you want
Or where we’re going
And that terrifies me

I’m so scared of losing what this is
‘Cause what if it’s real and true?
Where would I go from here,
If what we had was the sure thing?

I don’t want to let you go
I just want to hold you forever,
Feel you close to me as you’re dreaming
And know that you’ll always be there

I don’t think I’m asking for too much
I just want a chance to see
And a chance to show you
Who I can be

I’m just a girl,
Shy and uncertain
Standing in front of you
Asking you one simple thing
I just want you to love me,
To care for me the way I do you

Dispell the loneliness that I feel
With the heart-filling joy you inspire.
Let me in baby, let me in
Let me see who you are

I’m sure that I’ll still be here
‘Cause I know this is real.
We have something so different
That my world will never be the same
The way it was when I didn’t know you
Or the way it was before I held you
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Details
Language: English
Category:
Poetry
Date Added:
10th of September 2006, at 11:53 pm
Word Count: 610
Favourites: 1
Notes
A letter to someone, a piece of my soul bare for all to see.

I did send this to him too, and I haven't heard back, and now I'm worried that I let out too much, too soon.
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Comments
All comments welcome.
Comment by puffalump2000
14th of September 2006, at 3:37 am
(English)
puffalump2000
Hmmm...  I like it!  And I understand that feeling!  So now you're waiting on pins and needles, huh?  Well, IMHO it's a beautiful way to tell someone how you feel.

I hope he feels the same.

If he doesn't....well, my, look at what an incredible woman he gave up!  To have that depth of feeling...it doesn't happen too often. :heart:
"I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever." Rabindranath Tagore
Comment by Merlana
14th of September 2006, at 8:58 pm
(English)
Merlana
I got a reply via phone, and it turns out that not only was I okay to send that, but that he'd been wondering a few of the same things as well. So, it's all good so far...*smiles* thanks for the comment and the compliment!
forgive, forget and listen to the rain...
Comment by puffalump2000
14th of September 2006, at 10:37 pm
(English)
puffalump2000
OMG that's so great!!!  Aww....things like that make a cupid like me VERY happy! :smile:
"I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever." Rabindranath Tagore
Comment by cky
15th of September 2006, at 9:10 am
(English)
cky
Makes a cupid like me very happy too! :-) Yay yay yay!!!
love is an irresistibly seductive vampire; even in shock from the bite, one must thank the creature for the pain with poetry. —jen
Comment by Merlana
15th of September 2006, at 2:12 pm
(English)
Merlana
thank you! It made a Jessica like me very happy too!
forgive, forget and listen to the rain...
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