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Porcelain Wasteland
by James Earl Adams III
Copyright © VainApocalypse, 2006
Come taste this squalid sphere.

Its hills wrapped in silver,
And its vallies coated with glass,
its cracks sewn shut by solitude,
And glossed over with brass.

It's the horror of mortal stone,
It begets the self,
And speaks a whispered tongue
To welcome me home.
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Details
Language: English
Category:
Poetry > Angst > Free Verse
Date Added:
10th of December 2006, at 10:33 pm
Word Count: 47
Favourites: 3
Notes
Piece Rating
3 Ratings
Piece Rating: :lime: :lime: :lime: :lime: :lime: (4.7/5)
Collections
This piece can be found within the following Collection:
Comments
All comments welcome.
Comment by striptease
13th of December 2006, at 4:13 pm
(English)
striptease
Where do I even begin? This whole collection is genius. I like that you can actually see everything you're describing in strikingly crisp detail. You did a good job with the imagery. As far as most of the metaphors, I have to admit, language did get the best of me and I had to look up quite a few of them. BUT I did get them and I loved them.
My favourite lines out of all of these pieces:

“That day's slaughter left the air foul.
They lessened men to putrid heaps,
And wore the blood with a smile”

(I like the last line of that the best)
and

“All the kings were dressed in rags and fed mice,
And all the wombs stuffed with cold earth.
All the decayed peoples divided by endless fields of ice,
And all their infants damned to a frozen birth.

Violent winds starved lonely hills of serenity,
Thus conjuring blizzards of seclusion.
In this empire of famine,
Bloody nails broke ice abroad the horizon,
As the starving hungrily clawed at frozen tundra”

Sheer brilliance, just a prime example that writing is something you should seriously continue. I really like this collection and hope you continue it. It’d be a lie to say that the story’s not addictive. I just have an urge to read what may come next and what will happen to the rest of the people. Also, I think it’s interesting that the reference to winter appears so much as well as with blood. Just like to know why perhaps.

But yes, that is all the critique I have for now. A job excellently done!
Item Rating: :lime: :lime: :lime: :lime: :lime:  (5/5)
caution: slippery when wet
Comment by VainApocalypse
14th of December 2006, at 1:26 am
(English)
VainApocalypse
That, my new friend, was some of the best and most inspiring critique I've gotten in a long time, and I feel obliged to reply to it in equal response. And I'd like to say that it's that kind of praise and feedback alone that has kept me writing these past few years; for that, I give you some of my deepest and most reserved sentiments of appreciation. And promise to in time add another piece to the collection, perhaps two.

I wasn't sure just how successful this collection would be in the eyes of my readers; I wasn't sure how well the imagery I used would manifest itself in their mind's eye. So I feel rather reassured and satisfied now, knowing that my attempts to depict what I saw in my head were most fruitful.

As for the language, that's one thing I knew from the start that I was happy with. I find that the deeper and less common the language used in literature is, the more refreshing and enjoyable it is. And so I try to funnel as much of that unique language into my works as possible, and by doing so, I at the same time force my readers to expand their vocabulary. =X Sorry about that.

You must understand, the entire collection, though existing as it's own storyline, also exists as metaphoric parallels to aspects of my life and psyche. And in that you might see why references to winter and blood appear so often; winter universally symbolizes deprivation, isolation, hunger, and deathful need, and these things exist in varying amounts in my philosophical, emotional, and material lives.

While at the same time, the coming of a seemingly endless winter acts as fatal factor in the story.

As for blood, it can symbolize the loss of life, a dreadful omen, or simply conflict ridden times.

In closing, what makes me feel the most content with my work here, is knowing that I've created a story captivating enough to beckoning it's reader(s) back for more. I think that's something any writer should take pride in, and I thank you for allowing me that pride.

Thankyou again.
"Art is the proper task of life. "
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Top :: Parent
Comment by striptease
20th of December 2006, at 1:47 pm
(English)
striptease
Ah, you are most welcome. You are by far one of the better writers that I've seen or read in a couple of years. I really do hope that someone realizes the brilliance in these pieces as much as I do. They're exquisite, unique, everything truly wonderful pieces should be. As for thanking me, I'd like to thank you for sharing this. It's amazing, really.
caution: slippery when wet
Top :: Parent
Comment by VainApocalypse
21st of December 2006, at 11:24 am
(English)
VainApocalypse
Heh, you really know how to flatter a poet, don't you?...That's some of the most rewarding praise I've ever received..
"Art is the proper task of life. "
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Top :: Parent
Comment by striptease
21st of December 2006, at 7:06 pm
(English)
striptease
Oh well I'm surprised you haven't heard it before! Ungreatful little souls!
But do take it, as it is well deserved by one such as yourself. ♥
caution: slippery when wet
Top :: Parent
Comment by VainApocalypse
22nd of December 2006, at 2:19 am
(English)
VainApocalypse
Mm, I shall take the praise to heart for once.

But I do say, such kind praise leaves me wanting to interact with my new fan even more. It's a shame that you don't frequent AIM. :(
"Art is the proper task of life. "
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Top :: Parent
More Replies
Comment by Nisachan666
16th of December 2006, at 5:52 pm
(English)
Nisachan666
beautiful. it gives the image of a maggot-riddled apple. perfect on the surface, completely diseased and decimated beneath it
Item Rating: :lime: :lime: :lime: :lime: :lime:  (4/5)
If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this is useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned... - Tyler Durden, Fight Club
Comment by Kurai
21st of July 2007, at 12:24 am
(English)
Kurai
This piece's best facets, your pace and rhythm come from your obvious vision of structure and word choice. It takes a true poet to know the balance of vocabulary to structure and the appropriateness of the value of each in accordance to the subject matter, and this poem has seized you, Sir, and your readers. This may be a prologue to the collection, but don't sell its importance short--this obviously sets the mood and tone, and also quite stylish in its own right! :orange:
Item Rating: :lime: :lime: :lime: :lime: :lime:  (5/5)
(I think I made you up inside my head.) :lwing1::Orange::rwing1:
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