bookshelf @ lemonfingers.com

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Garden gnome, who is tall for his age Seeks similar gnome to start new page Must be able to hold a wheelbarrow or fork They must manoeuvre it past the concrete, garden stork Likes green hats
Garden Gnome seeks... by SecretLobster
Who is the Secret Lobster? The Secret Lobster is a lobster. A kind, sweet, benevolent creature, except to all those who disobey him, who helps everyone he can (to those who make generous do
How NOT to Cook the Secret Lobster v2 by SecretLobster
Frustration crawls like cancer beneath the surface Gnaws at the essence of humanity Painfully building to extreme levels Until an eruption of rage and sadness Tinted with regret and guilt Fi
Frustration by SecretLobster
Standing there, hand in hand; Walking barefoot across the wet sand; I look at you, you look at me; As we listen to the roaring sea; Words not spoken, words not needed; The roots of true love
A Moment by SecretLobster
How to cook…the Trog Monster! Profile - Name: Trog-o Monster…-o Height: Approximately five foot, eight-point-two-five-nine inches tall (give or take two foot) Age: You never ask a Trog Monst
How to Cook...the Trog-Monster by SecretLobster
Transparent, Frosty Cloudy or Rippled Coloured or Plain Double glazed or tripled Painted, stained Sculpted or clear Some used for our windows Some used for our beer
Glass by SecretLobster
I close my eyes, just for a second The image around me changes Which once was light, is made dark And then made light again Dazzling sun burns the colour Blinking away the tears there formed
Blink by SecretLobster
Confused and Lost All alone Searching through the garden large Our intrepid little gnome Behind the plant life Behind the potting shed Feeling more than a little tired now Looking forward to
The Tale Of The Lost Gnome by SecretLobster
Gonk managed to sleep through the break-in of the Secret Lobster into his home, then he managed to walk past the Lobster without spotting him, a bottle of milk rendered the lobster unconscio
Gonk and the Revenge of the Secret Lobster (part2) by SecretLobster
What is a James Elkins? Now any normal person would not recognise a James Elkins as any kind of threat to your survival whatsoever... That normal exterior, coupled with a good hard work natu
How to Cook a James Elkins by SecretLobster
What is a Seldom Seen Thinker? Seldom Seen Thinkers claim to be innocent, they hide away (hence the Seldom Seen part) saying that they study and think all of the time to better everyone’s li
How to Cook a Seldom Seen Thinker by SecretLobster
The “World of Warcraft” - Fun or Frustrating? A lone Dwarf Hunter scans the scene, searching for his prey, his trusty pet tiger by his side. He sees his prey amongst the trees ahead, a wild
The "World of Warcraft" - Fun or Frustrating? by SecretLobster
To those no longer living Killed or dying in what they believed Living life to the maximum From the moment they were concieved To these I pay my last respects For living out their dreams Peo
Last Repects by SecretLobster
The person I would like to meet Is a human girl who’s part of Starfleet She must know all about Captain Kirk and Doctor McCoy Even about the kid from the Enterprise who always manages to ann
Star Trek Fan seeks... by SecretLobster
I would like to meet a friendly old gent Who must be rich and mustn't be bent He must own an expensive, posh car Must treat me like I am a hollywood star I am looking for romance with this g
Young Lady seeks... by SecretLobster