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This site is so dead now. Nobody ever updates or posts or comments. I don't remember when the last time was that I wrote something. I meant to a few days ago...I started writing...but after a line or two I got interrupted and forgot mostly all of it. I guess it's ok though. I have my little nice, neat collection here of all the things I've written. The dates I posted them are definately not the dates I wrote them but that's ok. I like having it all collected here. I like the way this website looks. I really like the layout and such. Alright, my pointless ramblings are over. Off to sleepy-land...

this site has died. very similar to all of my other sites. *sigh*

there's nothing to do on this god-damned internet.

it's gotten so quiet around here. no one's really been posting anything and neither have i. i feel like i've grown apart from something. i've been so preoccupied with everything lately. yeah, i've posted some stuff on deviantart but i haven't really accomplished anything. i feel like i'm at a transition stage or something. i have homework to do and i really don't want to do it. i just want to sleep. i fell asleep on the couch for almost three hours. with the tv on and people in the room. i never fall asleep like that. i think my body's trying to tell me something. my boyfriend has left for a week. he's gone back "home" to take care of some family matters. back home being all the way to california. i miss him. he left at noon today and i already miss him to death. how am i going to manage being alone for a week? naomi asked me today what she should get her boyfriend for valentine's day. i haven't even gotten mine anything yet. i'm pretty sure i know what i want to get him now i just have to go get it. anne's at walmart with her boyfriend. we talked as she walked around shopping. we talked about nothing really. if i didn't have homework and i wasn't tired maybe i could be out doing something, if only to get my mind off things. i need to take a shower. i'm so stressed out about everything. eric, school, my family, my future, etc. when am i going to be able to just relax? well, it's getting late. i really should do that homework before i get to tired and decide to sleep.

I'm having one of those random little bits of creativity. My mind is clearer now, although i don't know how long that will last. I can form my thoughts into sentences and actually have them come out making sense. There's so much i want to write about and draw and say and do. So many places I want to go. So many people...so many people I want to talk to, I want to be with. So many people that I miss. So many people I used to love, and many I still do love.

I want to go places. It's been a running theme in my life that all I ever want to do is get in a car and just drive. Just drive until we can't drive anymore, until we find the ocean. Or possibly even something worse. I think about open roads. I think about beaches. I think about forests. I think about drowning. Most of my thoughts are accompanied by water. Actually, I think I'll go home today and take a bath.

In the spring I miss the winter.
In the winter I miss the spring.